Don’t beat yourself up for what you did not catch.

A lot of clients are hard on themselves for missing the clues and signs that their relationship was at risk, or is now defunct. 

People compartmentalize and rationalize what can seem out of place.  Only when you add all those out-of-place things together does the bigger picture become clearer.  Moreover, it is natural for people to delegate jobs in the household to the other person; because you do not like to do that job (i.e. laundry) or because the other person is better at it (finances), or so you think.  As long as things appear to be running there is no need to challenge the status quo.  So, we miss things, or explain them away, until you cannot.

Give yourself some grace.  By the time you talk to an attorney you are already on the beating-yourself-up treadmill.  It is time to get off.  You still have those skills.  They just got rusty.  Let’s dust those skills off together and put them to good use right now and for you in the future.